So how are you doing? What makes changing or becoming the person you most want to be so difficult? Sometimes it is because we are trying too hard. Sometime we are unkind, even down right mean to ourselves in our evaluation. I have found that one of the best ways to change or grow starts with expressing self compassion towards the part or parts of myself that do not want to grow or change.

When we truly listen to the positive intention of these parts of us that do not want to adopt the next New Years Resoultion, we find some interesting and passionate values are at the core of that resistance.

You cannot sustain lasting change until you embrace all the internal parts of yourself that are holding on to the current attitude, belief or behavior. All those parts of yourself must be listened to, valued, and honored. Now I know you probably don't feel real comfortable thinking of yourself as being in parts but humor me for a moment. Just to say something like " I am so stupid" clearly you are revealing that you have a part that is smart enough to judge you and a part that needs to be judged.

So the next time you attempt to explore all the reasons change seems so difficult to come by and you start your evaluation by judging yourself or calling yourself unattractive names, stop for a moment and see just what might be going on below the surface of your struggle.

As an exercise, have a discussion with yourself. Choose to treat that part of you that resists change with compassion instead of judgement. Wonder out loud with that part of you as if you truly want to understand why the change you say you desire is not coming. It just might be that the very part of you that resists change knows something you have forgotten is truly important. Some more secret value. When you reaquaint yourself with these deeper hidden values and negotiate for those values to be honored as well, change is easier to come by.
We at Big Fat Happiness are committed to teaching skills that allow you to create everyday happiness. Find joy by beginning each day with a love and compassion for your whole self. Let us know what you think.