Perspective is Everything
When we are wronged we have an opportunity to act that is primarily based on how we see things. It is possible to see a radical change, a progression if you will in the reaction that comes forth as we mature and grow. Here is that progression in 6 simple lessons.
Our various possible responses when we believe we have been wronged…
1. That was mean. You are evil I hate you…
2. That was unkind. I deserve an apology. You need to change. I can’t be around you until you do.
3. That was interesting behavior?!? I wonder why they act that way. I think I will ask. You know, I do that sometimes. They are probably doing it for the same reasons I do.
4. Wow interesting behavior. They must have a need. After all, all behavior is purposeful. I’m sure they are doing the best they can. If they could be different they would be different. All behavior is either love or a call for love. I can forgive and pray for them. I can tolerate them for now.
5. That behavior just IS…. It means whatever I decide it means. How do I feel inspired to act in relationship and in response to it since I probably helped create it. What do I need to do different including change my perception? How do I let go of my expectations and outcomes. People can be exactly as they are if I will but let them.
6. What behavior? It has no effect on me. My gift is to love. There is nothing to forgive. I and my brother/sister are one.

Everything I experience is part of me. I am not a self some how living in isolation from all that is around me. My self and my world are uniquely connected by my projections, agreements, perceptions, beliefs choices and actions. I will see if I can see the world as a complex playground to be appreciated and engaged with for what it is rather than something to be victimized by or to fight to change it so it fits some narrow belief system of mine.. The world IS me.. Give love and faith and let go of outcomes. Outcomes are the business of the Universe. Namaste
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When we are wronged we have an opportunity to act that is primarily based on how we see things. It is possible to see a radical change, a progression if you will in the reaction that comes forth as we mature and grow. Here is that progression in 6 simple lessons.
Our various possible responses when we believe we have been wronged…
That was mean. You are evil I hate you…
That was unkind. I deserve an apology. You need to change. I can’t be around you until you do.
That was interesting behavior?!? I wonder why they act that way. I think I will inquire. You know, I do that sometimes. There probably doing it for the same reasons I do.
Wow interesting behavior. They must have a need. After all, all behavior is purposeful. I’m sure they are doing the best they can. If they could be different they would be different. All behavior is either love or a call for love. I can forgive and pray for them. I can tolerate them for now.
That behavior just IS…. It means whatever I decide it means. How do I feel inspired to act in relationship and in response to it since I probably helped create it. What do I need to do different including change my perception? How do I let go of my expectations and outcomes. People can be exactly as they are if I will but let them.
What behavior? It has no effect on me. My gift is to love. There is nothing to forgive. I and my brother/sister are one.
Everything I experience is part of me. I am not a self some how living in isolation from all that is around me. My self and my world are uniquely connected by my projections, agreements, perceptions, beliefs choices and actions. I will see if I can see the world as a complex playground to be appreciated and engaged with for what it is rather than something to be victimized by or to fight to change it so it fits some narrow belief system of mine.. The world IS me.. Give love and faith and let go of outcomes. Outcomes are the business of the Universe. Namaste

So how are you doing? What makes changing or becoming the person you most want to be so difficult? Sometimes it is because we are trying too hard. Sometime we are unkind, even down right mean to ourselves in our evaluation. I have found that one of the best ways to change or grow starts with expressing self compassion towards the part or parts of myself that do not want to grow or change.

When we truly listen to the positive intention of these parts of us that do not want to adopt the next New Years Resoultion, we find some interesting and passionate values are at the core of that resistance.

You cannot sustain lasting change until you embrace all the internal parts of yourself that are holding on to the current attitude, belief or behavior. All those parts of yourself must be listened to, valued, and honored. Now I know you probably don't feel real comfortable thinking of yourself as being in parts but humor me for a moment. Just to say something like " I am so stupid" clearly you are revealing that you have a part that is smart enough to judge you and a part that needs to be judged.

So the next time you attempt to explore all the reasons change seems so difficult to come by and you start your evaluation by judging yourself or calling yourself unattractive names, stop for a moment and see just what might be going on below the surface of your struggle.

As an exercise, have a discussion with yourself. Choose to treat that part of you that resists change with compassion instead of judgement. Wonder out loud with that part of you as if you truly want to understand why the change you say you desire is not coming. It just might be that the very part of you that resists change knows something you have forgotten is truly important. Some more secret value. When you reaquaint yourself with these deeper hidden values and negotiate for those values to be honored as well, change is easier to come by.
We at Big Fat Happiness are committed to teaching skills that allow you to create everyday happiness. Find joy by beginning each day with a love and compassion for your whole self. Let us know what you think.